Independence

Hiddey Ho reader-eenoes.

A lot's happened in a week. A lot happened the week before the last post, too, but I thought that last one was too important to skip. I can't put it all in now because there's a lot to do, but hopefully I will cover it all in the next few days.

Sorry I have been AWHOL for awhile. For two weeks it was Passover break and I rarely logged on to the computer. I know, crazy, right? Plus I spent a good week of that time traveling the country with my parents. It was WONDERFUL to see them after spending the longest time away from them that I ever have in my life, and get to explore this wonderful country with them, not to mention spend Pesach in the holy land with my parents. But to be honest, having them here after such an incredible self discovery period really helped me shed a new light on my state of independent being and where they fit into the grand scheme of it all. We'll see what becomes of that.

Anyway, the past week has been a shocker of trying to get back to "normal" life-post break. The only problem is that this week has involved three pretty major holidays in Israel, two days of rememberance, one for the Holcaust and one for fallen Israel soldiers, and Israel's independence day. Amid the strange schedules, ceremonies, times off and such, the days have been anything but normal. In some ways, it has helped ease things in getting back to normal after such a long break, but in some ways it has made it harder when we all know that we really only have about a month and a half left here, and some people less since almost the whole group is leaving early. I'm not going to lie, in spite of the good things we are doing here, and the wonderful people, it is EXTREMELY difficult to find the motivation to get any work done any more. Traveling the country during the week and not just on weekends has become more appealing and widely accepted, spending days on various outings are the norm. Work is a thing of the past...Ok, this is not actually the case, but in my mind it is quickly beoming more difficult to fight, especially as morale (and attendance) amongst the roomates is dropping, and I know it is only a matter of time before I fall victim to the devilish ways....

On that note, I finally quit ulpan. Sad, but true. In my defense, I was the last one to hold out, and I lasted at least a month and a half longer than anyone else. At this point, it became a facade of me going anyway. I was only going two days a week, and when I did go, I was leaving after an hour and a half/two hours because I now have other volunteering commitments in the mornings/afternoons, and Ulpan had become so boring that it was not worth my time. Between Erez, the program director, Orit, my teacher, and I, we all agreed that it was probably just not worth it to go at all anymore. So there you have it. But, the plan now is to come back to Israel in August (so long as I get accepted to the program I want) for an Ulpan kibbutz...which would mean that this 6 months would be a focus on volunteering and the next six months would be a focus on ulpan. Sometimes you just can't have it all.

In other news, our group of 7 that became 8 that went down to 7 is now down to 6. Our lone male, Jon, has left us. It is really quite sad. He and I were just getting to be close, and to be honest, he was often the source of sanity when things got out of control around here. I am really going to miss him and his quick humor. It's really weird that he's not here, like a piece of the puzzle is gone. Laura and I weren't that close, so that wasn't very difficult for me, but this is weird. I know Jon's not dead or anything, but he's not next door when I need to get away from it all...On the plus side, a single room has been vacated, (and the way it worked out I got to move in) so I get my own room until the end of the program, which will probably be good for me. On the downside, while I was moving things around cleaning it this morning, I discovered quite a bit of mold or mildew (not sure of the difference) on the wall which will be bad for me. I'm hoping if I keep the windows open and don't touch it I will be ok? I figure I'll ask Dad about this later, and make sure to watch out for illness. Frankly, at this point, moving to one of the other rooms is not an option. I'd rather live with mold. Crazy, right?

In America, this weekend was carnival. I have heard a few stories but not enough. People, PLEASE send me photos. Who won booth? Buggy?! TELL ME!!! Facebook is my hero because I got to see SOME pictures, (Anne, you rock my world for tagging me in that one...) and I really miss you all and desperately wish I could have been there. But I am glad you all got to be there and hope you had a great time! And while I am on news from America...for anyone who knows my good friend Mallory Snyder: she was accepted into the University of Southern California's graduate program for film. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU MALLY!!!!!!! Ok, while I know what my fam is thinking, yes, we don't like the Trojans-but it's ok because the 'Horns beat them for the championship, and anyway, this is the film school and it's PRESTIGIOUS people. So, as long as Texas and USC aren't playing each other, I am very, very happy for you. But on game days....;)

On another note: About the rememberance days: They have been very poignant for me, being in Israel and realizing things I never have before. In the past, it has always been about school ceremonies and forced feelings, but this year, I see it all firsthand, the effect that history has really had on these people. My people. In America, most of this kind of thing either happened in the time of history textbooks, or to other people. Not to me. Vietnam was before my time and my parents never talked about it. My grandfather fought in World War II but I never heard much about it. I never knew soldiers during the gulf war, and that was that. War isn't something that affected me. (until the war on Iraq, when my uncle Tom went overseas, but when he came back, it was like the war was over...I was no longer affected.) Memorial and labor day are days off, bbq days. But here, it affects the whole country. Every one knows someone who has died, has family, a friend. Or a friend of a friend. It's first degree here. The whole country is a close knit community, and when one person mourns, the country mourns. I saw a very large man cry this week. Men aren't afraid to cry here. On tv, giving a speech, the minister of Defense was visibly emotional over all the lives lost in wars and terrorist attacks. It was incredible to see. One death is a national tragedy. This country will fight and search for one person. In America the question is often asked "how many people have to die before....?" In Israel, the answer would always be "One".

And when it is all over, then and ONLY then, we celebrate our independence. And boy do we celebrate. Fireworks and parties and bbqs and wonderfulness. Happy 59th birthday, Israel. It has been a hard, terrible journey, but on your 59th birthday, we salute you.